Today I spent the day on a journey of discovering myself.

Letting go of old battles.

Leaving parts of the past behind.

Opening my heart to what’s next.

Friday held a very deep journey experience for me, and by Sunday I could feel many things beginning to settle and come together in a way that felt meaningful and clear.

During my journey experience, I saw a healer — a beautiful, wise healer.

Her face was painted with beautiful red, yellow, and white dots and symbols, and feathers hung gently from her hair.

Someone later shared with me that what I may have been seeing was a likeness of myself in the woman who was holding space for me.

That stayed with me.

Because perhaps what I was being shown was not only a healer — but the reflection of the healer that has been growing within me all along.

I carry the wisdom that comes from age and life experience, but I also still hold the young girl inside of me — the one with dreams, hope, love, and the belief in a beautiful life.

After some self-care on Saturday, I closed this weekend of self-discovery with a solo trip to Blooms of Oz at the Royal Botanical Gardens.

The Wizard of Oz has always been part of my life. My childhood was wrapped up in that story. As I grew older, I would often dream about scenes from the movie. When I began my healing journey, the yellow brick road and the Emerald City seemed to appear again and again somewhere along the path.

Sometimes it felt magical… sometimes it felt scary… and often both at the same time.

Dorothy — so young, so innocent, and so far from home — heartbroken and searching her way back.

Along the way she meets the Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow.

Courage.

Heart.

Brain.

Such a powerful journey — and often we don’t understand it when we are deep in the middle of our own

On my way to the gardens, just as I was leaving town, my wedding song came on the radio — Billy Joel, “Just the Way You Are.”

And at that exact moment I was driving past my wedding venue.

I had to laugh.

It almost felt like the drive that day was taking me past all the places that once held pain for me — but this time I was seeing them differently.

Almost as if the road itself was guiding me through pieces of my past, one by one.

As I kept driving, I also passed the site of my accident. This time I saw it from the opposite side of the road — from a completely different perspective.

On the way home I drove past it again.

And for the first time, I felt something I never expected.

Gratitude.

Gratitude for the experience.

Gratitude for the people in the house nearby who helped me and my unborn baby that day.

Gratitude for what that moment taught me.

Nothing is coincidence. 

Life is always speaking to us.

There are signs everywhere if we are open to seeing them.

I am growing into who I truly am, and every experience — every joy and every hardship — has brought me to this moment.

Walking through the beautiful blooms at the gardens, I brought home a few small reminders from The Wizard of Oz.

A card of the Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow:

Courage, heart, and brains — oh my.

And the ruby slippers:

“You had the power all along, my dear.”

And maybe that is the real journey — realizing that the courage, the heart, the wisdom, and the power we search for were within us all along.

And then I was reminded of something that felt deeply personal.

My name is Esther.

And there is a verse in the Bible, in the Book of Esther, chapter 4, verse 14, that suddenly felt very meaningful to me:

“Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.”

Life has a beautiful way of bringing us exactly where we need to be.